Andrea Miller shares her experience in the March issue of Pema Chodron on 4 Keys To Waking Up:

Stabilize Your Mind
Make Friends with Yourself
Be Free from Fixed Mind
take Care of Others

You can read an excerpt of Andrea’s article on “Stabilize Your Mind.”

Andrea shares a moment when Ani Pema is answering questions.

Do you have a regular meditation practice” Ani Pema asks
“Yes”
“And how does that feel these days?”
“It feels hurried.”
“Hurried?”
“I have a child with disabilities, so meditation has to be fit in. I can’t just decide to go sit down. It has to be set up.”
“I get it,” Ani Pema says slowly. “So, okay, that’s how it is currently–uncomfortable, hurried. Things as they are.” Then she comes back to what we’ve been talking about this morning unconditional friendship. Ani Pema’s advice is this: don’t reject what you see in yourself; embrace it instead. Feeling Hurried Buddha, Feeling Cut Off from Nature Buddha, Feeling No Compassion Buddha–recognize the Buddha in each feeling.

I realize how difficult it is to embrace all of me. The song pops in my head as a song I can sing to myself: “All of me, why not take all of me. Can’t you see, I’m no good without you.” And the courage it takes to be gentle with myself.

When I go to bed at night with my wife, the saying goes: There are 16 people sleeping with me:
Me and my wife (2)
Our inner voice that is with us 24 hours a day (2)
Our parents on both sides (4)
Our grandparents on both sides (8)

They all live on in us. They all have an opinion, an influence and a voice. So I get to experience the impact that sitting quietly observing breath can have on all those voices.

So while it is about “loving myself so much that I don’t want to make myself suffer anymore” I was reflecting on what is it that I have to let go.

Kay Harkins who is helping me put together my writings on running, walking, marathoning, running and walking therapy said in our first meeting: “I’d like you to think about what it is that is “falling away” so that you can get to the core of what you want to share.

Falling away, letting go rang a bell but the gong for me was shared by Thich Nhat Hanh saying that one must: Throw away. His talk on Letting Go resonated as he touched on what it means to throw away the notions, perceptions or mind-objects as he calls them. (42:00)

He shows how I need to throw away my notions and perceptions of self, human being, living beings and life span.

A match cannot become nothing. It cannot be annihilated. The flame manifests itself. It comes and it goes. Medititate to deeply listen to the flame. Hear the voice of the flame. When conditions come together, it manifests.

A cloud cannot become nothing. It is a manifestation and was many other things before it became a cloud. A river, a rose, a match – looking deeply no birth/no death.

Birth and death are notions. There are no human beings without non-human elements. Hmmmm. Where is the human race without oxygen? Or calcium?

The Diamond Sutra looks deeply so that I can meditate and throw away my notions/perceptions/ideas of self, human being, dualism, living being, life span.

Through my Consciousness/Feelings/perceptions/mental formations I am aware of impermanence. Impermanence is the object of my/our looking deeply.

Coming and going are notions. Like the match, like the cloud when conditions are no longer sufficient they cease their manifestation.

So I ask myself this question as I push publish and head off for the rest of my day: How am I manifesting now? Am I doing me fully awake, fully present and living my life intentionally?

How about you? Are you embracing all of you…today? What are you throwing away…today?